Since this is relatively new, and certainly time consuming, I will not try to make this very long.

A SHORT CELLPHONE TALE:

Abe was a musician. In fact, he was a very famous musician. He was not, however, famous for how good he was, but for how utterly HORRIBLE he was at playing his instrument. The instrument in question was a marimba.

Abe was, before he was famous, a complete bum. Not the kind of bum that you see providing comic relief in movies, but rather the kind of bum that barely scrapes by, living in the basement of the two people who fucked him into existence, his parents. And though Abe did not know it, his parents both secretly wished for a way to fuck him OUT of existence. Lucky for him, scientists have yet to perfect the technology.

(As it turns out, apparently there IS a limit to how much I can write in a text, so I'll have to finish this later. Not a good start to this whole experiment, huh?)